


In The Wee Small Hours Of The Morning

by orphan_account



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Cussing, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Veterans, moder su, reintroduction to society, they're just a lil fucked up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-05
Updated: 2016-05-05
Packaged: 2018-06-06 12:30:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6753871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn always loved mornings. The feeling of refresh after a full night of sleep. The promise of a new day. As of recently, he’s been missing the usual positive aspect of waking up at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In The Wee Small Hours Of The Morning

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so i saw a post that Hux is currently outnumbering Finn in fics. So the goal now is to put out 15 fics this month to give Finn a lil boost.
> 
> Title from a Sinatra song by the same name.

 

     Finn startled himself, waking up already scrambling to sit as straight back in his bed as possible, a scream caught in his throat. He thought he had the dreams under control, apparently he was mistaken. His head spun around taking the view of the layout surrounding him. Four white walls, the sound of the ceiling fan spinning above him and a bed side table holding a picture of him and his best friend, Rey, leaning on a railing in front of mount rushmore.

     Another shaky breath. He glanced at the clock emitting a green glow in the corner of his room. 

_ 3:00 am _

 

      Finn sat trying to get his breathing under control. The smell of blood filled his nose and taste of copper is in his mouth. He stuck a finger in his mouth swabbing around the inside. Grabbing his phone and shining a light on his finger. He examined the saliva coated digit. No red. It wasn’t real. No it  _ was  _ real it just wasn’t happening right this second. He leaned against his headboard. Trying not to let memories sweep past his closed eyes.

 

      After a hour the try for sleep was useless. He sat there in the darkness trying to think of better times. That didn’t include death and dirt. He thought back to a simpler time where the highest priority was being the first to get to the swings. Back to when he would run with no sense of urgency or for survival, back to when he would run to test the speed his small legs could push. Back to when his mother would have him sit in the shade and cool down with a box of juice and a pouch of cookies. 

 

      Simpler times, not happier just simpler. The taste of the juice quenching his thirst and the chocolate creme filled cookies. The longer he thought of the snack the more he longed for them, as if it would bring back his childhood. 

 

*~*~*

      This is how he found himself in a twenty four hour supermarket searching the snack aisle for his nostalgic filled cookies. The thought crossed his mind that they may have discontinued them. His loss of faith in his plan quickly diminished when he found a large bulk size box of the cookies he had been so adamant on finding. The box held 250 of those little cookies. 

     Finn huffed. That was excessive and as impromptu as this plan was he was not going to purchase a 250 pack of cookies. Finn knelt down searching around and above the boxes for a smaller pack.

 

“This is ridiculous.” He spoke to no one in particular. “I just want one.” 

 

      The frustration grew as he continued his search. The longer he spent stalking up and down the rows of shelves the more annoyed he grew. Another lap around the store seemed to be enough as he turned on his heels and walked back to the snack aisle picking up the bulk box and proceeded to the front of the store. 

 

      Frustration seemed to seep out of his skin as he approached the self checkout station. 

 

_ ARE YOU USING YOUR OWN BAG TODAY? _

 

      The machine seemed to be screaming at him. He quickly tapped the glowing ‘no’

 

_ DO YOU HAVE ANY COUPONS? _

 

       Finn scrambled to press no again.

 

_ WOULD YOU LI- _

     Finn just continued to press the ‘no’ over and over to shut the stupid machine up. Finally the machine allowed him to scan his massive box. 

 

_ 28.55 _

 

“What?” Finn looked at the offending box. That had to be a mistake. It must have scanned wrong, He canceled the transaction.

 

ARE YOU US-

 

      Finn returned to slamming the ‘no’ continuously. Probably with a little more force than necessary. He scanned the box again.

 

_ 28.55  _

 

      Finn stared at the screen, dumbfounded. 

 

“28.55,” Finn repeated out loud. “Basically, thirty dollars for cookies?!” 

 

       He hadn’t meant to raise his voice. 

 

“This is ridiculous. Who even needs 250 fucking cookies?! Do you know how much sugar is in one of these! There is like,” He paused to search the nutrition information. “ 30 grams of sugar! Is that a lot? That’s gotta be a lot.” 

 

      The only other people in the market where the poor employees that seemed to make an effort to ignore Finns outburst, and  very few actual patrons. Who must not be in their right mind either, to be in a shop at this hour.

 

“I just needed one. I just ne-needed one.” His breathing quickened. The screen began to blur. A slight layer of sweat seemed to slip right out of his skin. “Fuck, why is everything weird?”

 

      Everything in Finn was telling him to run out the door and leave the god forsaken snacks. Just run home and return to his bed, return to the place where he is able to control everything. He just needed to not be here.

 

“Hey buddy,” A voice approached, security most likely. “Are you okay?”

 

      No, Finn thought, nothing is okay.

 

“Yeah, sorry I’ll just be on my w-”

 

“Hey I’m not kicking you out or anything.” the voice reassured.

 

     Finn looked up to find the owner. His eyes fell onto a wavy mess of hair and a smile. Not security. Maybe a concerned patron?

 

“But seriously, are you alright?” the concern was genuine.

 

“Uhm just one of those days you know,” Finn took a deep breath. “You think this is bad you should see when i have to buy milk.” He tries to joke. 

 

     The other man smiles. 

 

“Navy?” The older man questioned. Was Finn that obvious.

 

“Uhm, Army actually,” He cleared his throat. “You?”

 

“Air Force. Was a pilot.” The man offered his hand, giving Finn a handshake. 

 

“Finn.”

 

“Poe,” His smile caused his eyes to crinkle. Finn couldn’t help but return the smile. “Do you need to talk, I know that helped me when I returned to civilian life.”

 

     Finn was taken aback by Poe’s kindness. He knew all of two things about him and he was already more caring than most of Finn's family.

 

“Thank you, but no. I just wanted these ridiculous cookies.”  Finn was suddenly embarrassed over the whole situation, looking back at it all. Ridiculous. 

 

      Poe picked up the box, examining them.

 

“Where you getting a lifetime supply or is this like your weekly intake?” He smiled. Finn scoffed.

 

“I just wanted one. They use to be my favorite as a kid, and I don’t know, I thought it would help with my uhm” Finn stopped himself, not wanting to share with a total stranger how he’d been getting flashbacks and hyper realistic nightmares that had sliced through the sleep he could barely get.  

 

      Poe nodded as if he was exactly on the same page as Finn, he probably was. 

 

“You know 7/11 sells them individually, right?”

 

      Finn wanted to scream. There were at least three of those stupid snack shops between his home and this super market. 

 

“No, I didn’t.” 

 

“Come on there’s one not to far from here, if you're up for it.” Finn swore he presented the proposition as if it were a challenge and not just a five minute walk with a stranger. 

 

“Sure.” Finn spoke leaving behind the bulk box behind. 

 

      The walk to the 7/11 was uneventful in itself. Poe shared his own stories of having to relearn how to behave like a normal human being.

 

“It’s crazy right, because people are running up to each other and screaming. So you’re the weird one if you react weird, y’know?” Poe continued. 

 

     Finn enjoyed that there seemed not to be a minute of silence with this guy. He wasn’t pressured to carry this conversation, yet he didn’t feel like he was just being talked at. It was a comfort he needed.

 

      Finn tried to listen intently to Poe’s retelling of how he had performed a real life barrel roll. Mid-battle. 500 feet above land. He stood in the convenience store examining Poe.

 

      He was handsome but Finn was not entirely sure that the judgment was made on looks alone. Poe seemed to just bleed confidence, but that was the case with most flyboys. He was funny, and Finn just enjoyed being around him. He would have second guessed his attraction if he hadn’t caught the older man stare at him as if he found Finn rather alluring as well. 

 

      After purchasing the god forsaken cookies Finn seemed a little reluctant to leave Poe just yet. unspokenly , both seemed to made their way to the curb outside the shop a few feet down. Finn sighed as the moment of silence finally fell in place, he started to speak.

 

“You know, I was raised by my mom. Only her. She did it all on her own, her family was no help, so it was just me and her .” He shut his eyes to remember her. “I don’t remember a lot about my childhood. But i remember these, and how she would always have one on her person in case i was hungry or to shut me up.” Finn smiled as Poe sat smiling and nodding. 

 

     Finn sighed.

 

“While i was out there on our first assignment, a  bunk mate of mine. He,” Finn breathed. Poe never rushed him. They sat in silence for a while. “He died in my arms.”

 

      Finn sat waiting for the scripted condolence to pour from Poe’s mouth, but it never came.

 

“I dragged his body back. I know they send squads out to do that after the fight but-”  Finn didn’t even try to hide the tears. “ I just heard so many times of families just receiving a funeral and a flag and no body. Honestly i didn’t even like the guy. He had that mob mentality and sort of fucked with me because some others did. I just thought, if anything happened to me i’d want my mom to have a body.” 

 

      Poe was hesitant but carefully placed his hand on Finn’s back rubbing calming circles.

 

“You’re a good man, Finn.” Poe spoke quietly. Finn huffed out a laugh. The younger man leaned his head on Poe’s shoulder, sighing as if he finally dropped a weight that had been hanging over his head for a while. 

 

“I- Thank you, Poe.” Finn spoke as he sat up. “For everything, really.” 

 

      Finn didn’t mention how Poe seemed to chase the weight as Finn sat up.

 

“Y-you know we should exchange information,” Poe cleared his throat, wringing his fingers out of nerves, “For like emotional support and stuff.”

 

      Finn scrunched his face, wiping away the tears, “Yeah, I’m pretty sure you can’t stay a stranger after a whole soul baring night like this.”

“I love soul baring, I’m a great shoulder to cry on too. I’ve got plenty of great references if you don’t believe me.” Poe joked, he pointed to his left arm, “See this shoulder. General Organa herself leaned on this shoulder.” 

 

      Finn couldn’t help but laugh.

 

“A-and maybe lunch? If you’re interested?” The older man had a sense of vulnerability that wasn’t there previously.

 

“I’ll take you up on the emotional support, but i think i’d be more interested in dinner, if you were interested.” Finn spoke, he dusted his pants as he stood.

 

“I would be very interested.” Poe spoke as he pulled out his phone.

 

      After exchanging information, they had gone their separate ways. Finn drove his car home, with a much lighter soul and a pocket full of snacks. He made his way through his door as the sun peeked in through the blinds. Pulling his phone out to check the time he noticed the notifications showing on his phone.

 

_ Hey! Text me whn u get home _

 

_ Or not just wanted to y’know check on you _

 

_ Not that you need to be check up on _

 

_ I didn’t mean for it to sound like you couldnt take care of yourself. _

 

_ You know what, can you actually ignore all of this. _

 

     Finn couldn’t help but smile at the small string of messages.

 

_ Home safe. Thank you. _

 

_ Okay, goodnight Finn. _

 

_ Goodnight Poe. _

  
      Lighter. 

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Star Wars day. whoo.
> 
>  
> 
> Hey! Let's talk about Finn, yeah?
> 
> Finn-is-a-jedi.tumblr.com


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